


After the Explosion

by sydmu55



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big Brothers, Dream is bad >:(, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Platonic Relationships, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Tommy don't remember NOTHING, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:21:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydmu55/pseuds/sydmu55
Summary: (Title subject to change)Tommy doesn’t remember. Tommy doesn’t remember anything except being a kid on the street before he had a family. Was he supposed to remember? What is no one telling him? Why is everyone expecting him to know what happened?After the Explosion, Tommy’s memory isn’t the same. Either the head injury he sustained caused him to lose everything, or his brain is refusing to tell him the truth. He doesn’t know the difference. He must figure out who these strangers are while figuring out who he is,  and that’s harder than it looks.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Floris | Fundy, Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 28
Kudos: 471





	1. Who? What? Where? Why?

Pain. That’s all Tommy could feel in his side and on his head. The TNT was still going off, he could feel it, but the explosions sounded so far far away as if he wasn’t really there anymore. He attempted to push himself off what ground was left, but the world spun. This was how he was going to die, he was sure. The blowing up of L’manburg, the country he fought to get back, was what was going to kill him. Would they find his body?

Tommy pushed himself up again and successfully made it on his two feet. Though the pain in his side screamed and his head pounded like a hammer was driving into his skull. He tried to yell for his friends, but it was quiet. Almost like reverie from all the explosions. It was over, he thought. 

He then found out he was very wrong when he heard his friends start yelling. At him. A warning. The ground under him began to rumble and crack. He tried to jump or even move, but he couldn’t. The ground under him began to break, and for a minute he felt like he was flying when it crumbled under him. He could be like his dad for once.

A flash of pain, loud banging, screaming, his own? Maybe. Then pure darkness. 

\--

Waking up has never been so hard. Tommy wasn’t really tired he realized while lying on a soft bed, but trying to open his eyes was difficult. When he finally did he came to see he wasn’t in the familiar place he knew. The streets. Instead, he was in a home that smelled of cookies, a little bit of must, and old books. Tommy wanted to panic, but his head hurt too much, and his face hurt too, pretty much all of his hurt. Move, he told himself.

He’s been taken in, again.  
Screw the families that took him in out of the goodness of their hearts. 

Tommy placed his hands on the bed and pushed upwards. His bones ached and protested, but he managed to sit himself up on the bed. He heard voices, where he assumed, was downstairs. How was he going to get out?

Tommy dared to look down at the damage on him, and when he did, his mouth dropped. His left side was covered in thick bandages, and his right foot had a huge cast. Bringing his hand to his head he was met with even thicker gauze. Horror spread through his chest. What happened to him? Did they do this to him?

Tommy gently swung his legs over the bed, placing his feet slowly on the wooden floor. He closed his eyes, counted to three, and tried to stand. Big mistake, the thickly wrapped bandages didn’t help whatever was wrong with his legs. A shot of pain went up to his leg and fell backward on the bed, making a huge noise. It took all the power in him to not curse at the top of his lungs. But then he remembered the people downstairs. 

The injured boy held his breath as he heard the people downstairs stop talking. And a lot of shuffling was heard. Oh no. Tommy tried to place himself in an unassuming position. Emphasis on trying. His injured leg made it hard to move.

He jumped when the door to the small room banged open, and a group of people who he didn’t recognize streamed in. They were all saying his name, smiling, laughing. A boy with dark hair threw his skinny arms around him, and the rest of them all rubbed his head or lightly tapped him on the shoulder. In another life, Tommy was sure this would make his stomach all warm and fuzzy, but in reality, he was just plain confused. They all seemed so genuine 

“Tommy, how do you feel?” A lady with blonde hair and black streaks in the front asked. Tommy racked his brain for maybe a name for this girl, or how he felt, but no name came up. So he just said how he felt.

“Confused.” For some reason, the people thought that was funny. They laughed. Tommy didn’t laugh though, and they all abruptly stopped seeing Tommy’s expression. 

A guy not much younger than her, a beanie capturing his hair, stepped forward. “Why are you confused?”

“Because frankly, I have no idea who any of you are.” 

Silence. Some of them started chuckling but stopped at Tommy’s genuine expression. The boy didn’t know what to say to them. He felt guilty. They were obviously hoping to see one of their friends good and well, but Tommy couldn’t act or lie. 

“Tommy,” the boy that was grasping his hand said. “This isn’t funny.”

Tommy wasn’t joking though. He looked around and saw everyone’s confused and worried faces. Maybe if he thought about it hard enough he would remember them. But his mind went fuzzy when he went from face to face, and he saw dawning realization on some of them. 

“He really can’t remember,” The guy with the beanie said in quiet surprise. Tommy shifted uncomfortably with all the people staring at him. 

“I am sorry,” Tommy said, he was sorry for these people. Whoever the Tommy they knew was obviously important to them, but he was not that Tommy. 

It wasn’t long before the room exploded in a panic. And suddenly many people were prodding him at once. Some people touched his head, other people forced him to look at them in the eye. Tommy wanted to push and pull away, but he couldn’t manage with this many people in his way. The boy with brown hair looked stricken, panicked, and lost. Tommy wants to assure the boy it was alright, for some reason.

“Someone get Phil!” Was cried by the fox man. And many people rushed to get this, Phil, whoever he was. 

A couple of people were left. All frantically trying to get Tommy to answer questions he didn’t know. 

“What was the name of the country you founded?”

He had founded a country?

“What was your cow’s name?”

He didn’t have a cow. He didn’t grow up on a farm. 

“What is your best friend’s name?” The lady asked, anxiety clearly written on her face. “Surely, you must know.”

Tommy didn’t know, and he could sputter as he looked around at the people. The boy next to him looked stricken, and tears slowly filled his eyes. Now, Tommy felt bad, really bad. What was he doing wrong? A tall man with blonde hair and wings was standing at the threshold now, and the people were streaming into the room again. 

“Ok, ok, what’re your brother’s names?”

“I- I have brothers?” That was all Tommy could think to say. He had a family. And he doesn’t remember them. The fox man sent a tentative glance at the winged man before asking,  
“What’s your dad’s name?”

There were many eyes on Tommy now, and he could feel no small amount of dread fill his bones. He had a dad? A family? A dad? This was a dream. A really bad DREAM. Where he had a life he was proud of and then forgot. A life where he had people who cared about him. Tommy felt the air leaving his body as he looked urgently around the room for anyone to say this was a cruel prank. Nobody did. 

“I’m sorry!” Tommy reiterated, loudly. Desperation crawled in his voice. “But I don’t know! I really don’t know! I’m sorry! Am I! I really wish I knew what you guys are talking about!”

The room seemed to explode once again, and Tommy didn’t know why. And that scared Tommy, the uncertainty. The winged man was no where to be found, the boy next to his bed was crying hard now, and everyone else was beyond panic. 

What did he do wrong?


	2. Lost, in More Ways then One

The people seemed to mourn the Tommy they knew. And that made Tommy more uncomfortable than anything. He was confined to his room for the time being because his leg made it almost impossible to move. People visited. The blond lady was introduced as Niki. Tommy liked Niki. Niki gave Tommy cookies, laughed at his jokes, and knitted him a soft sweater. The beanie guy was Quackity, and Tommy realized quickly that he was funny. He and Quackity would make jokes, about anything, and Tommy would burst out laughing until he couldn’t breathe. The fox man was Fundy. Fundy would come into Tommy’s room and they would talk about almost anything. Fundy was all hilarious and would bring Tommy trinkets or baked treats. Others came and went. But the brunette boy never came, and the winged man never came too. Tommy didn’t realize this, of course, he was busy healing. 

And when he did heal, everyone was excited. And Tommy felt excited too. He managed to walk downstairs and go outside for the first time in weeks. He still felt woozy, so Niki helped him. When he did walk outside he was met with a crater for land. He felt no amount of surprise and looked at Niki, who had a sad smile. Across the crater, people with helmets were talking, and crowds of people were standing around the crater.

“What happened?” Tommy asked, watching. Niki sighed and patted Tommy’s arm. Maybe to comfort herself more than him.

“Something really bad, Tommy,” Was all Niki could say. He could tell that by the wailing he could hear and the small tattered flags surrounding the crater that something horrifying did happen, not just bad. 

It was so overwhelming. Tommy was generally a carefree kid, living on the streets taught him to be conditioned to non-permanence, never hold anything too tightly. But Tommy couldn’t help but feel a small hole, just like the crater in the center of town deep down inside of him. He felt bad, genuinely for the people that cared about Tommy and L’manburg. 

Well, that’s what he thought, at first. 

Tommy had so many questions. When he was still confined to his bed, many of the guests that would stream in and out would talk about things and events he didn’t understand. Showed him pictures of him with people he didn’t recognize. They never showed Tommy his family though, but again Tommy didn’t know that. 

He wasn’t even sure if they were telling the truth about the whole family thing. 

Niki was looking down at her communicator, a sour expression crossing over her face. 

“Tommy,” Niki said seriously. “Let’s go back inside.”

“Aw, but we just got out here! It’s a beautiful day. ” Tommy played around with Niki, but Niki’s face didn’t change. So, he hobbled with her back into the house. 

Fundy was in there, whispering harshly to Quackity. Most likely about me, Tommy thought drily. Why they couldn’t talk about what was going on baffled Tommy to his very core. He didn’t remember anything, so he couldn't understand why they felt the need to do that. 

Niki ushered Tommy to the table, where all three of them sat down, facing Tommy. Tommy felt like a child, about to get a scolding about something. He could barely stop himself from asking, “what did I do now?” He figured that wasn’t appropriate considering he didn’t know what ‘Past Tommy’ did. 

“Tommy, we need to talk about some things,” Quackity explained. Tommy almost rolled his eyes. That much was obvious. 

“Like what specifically?” Tommy questioned, already wanting to go take a nap. 

The three looked at each other, some passing agreement before Quackity continued. “How we should, well, approach you getting your memories back.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow, already not liking where this was going. He didn’t remember it is their responsibility in the first place. 

“We need you to be ready to be put in, some, more or less uncomfortable situations,” Fundy tried his best to explain. Tommy was confused at this. 

“Again, I don’t remember anything so I don’t think it matters?” 

Quackity and Fundy didn’t like that, both expressions darkening. Niki was just sighing, shaking her head. Tommy secretly hoped he wasn’t shaking her head at him. 

“Well, we only want the best for you,” Quackity pushed. 

“No,” Tommy said, “You want what’s best for ‘Past’ Tommy, and I am not ‘him’. Sheltering me from the truth isn’t going to help me remember anything.”

Oh, this conversation is not where they thought this was going to go, Tommy could tell as much. The way Quackity only seemed to be getting angrier, Fundy looking somewhat desperate, and Niki’s face being blank were all tell-tale signs. Tommy groaned inwardly, he was doing something wrong, again. 

“I want to meet my family- or so-called family,” Tommy entered into silence. “Maybe they could help me.”

Quackity laughed then, not a nice one. Full of sarcasm and venom. “Help you, Tommy? They have done everything but.”

“Quackity,” Niki warned. Fundy was looking sick to his stomach. 

“Do what you want, Tommy.” Quackity got up, a sarcastic smile on his face. “But I am warning you, you're not going to like what you hear.”

Quackity stomped away, and Tommy just watched with confusion. 

\--  
One of these ‘awkward’ situations came quicker than Tommy thought. The next morning, after feeling particularly energetic, Tommy decided he would go on a walk. By himself. He announced this to the table. He ignored the protests from Quackity and Fundy, who were annoying until Niki told them to shut up. Tommy was scared because she was looking in a particularly bad mood that morning. So, he was quick to get out before more arguing occurred.

L’manburg, from what Tommy could tell, was a beautiful country, despite the gaping hole right in the middle. The air was warm, and the sun shined brightly overhead. 

Unfortunately, after walking for what he thought wasn’t long, he was helplessly lost in the place they called L’manburg. He huffed, all the signs were covered in wanted posters, with a man named… he zeroed in on the name. Technoblade? What type of name was that? 

The other unfortunate thing was condolences. The people who passed by gave Tommy many condolences for a person Tommy didn’t even know. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, though it’s better he rests,” one lady said. Tommy could only stand there awkwardly until the lady moved on with her life. 

He didn’t even bother asking for directions. 

If the citizens of L’manburg expected him to know who this deceased person was, they expected him to know his way around here too. And admitting he didn’t would be frankly embarrassing for Tommy. 

So, he gave up and sat on a bench that looked over a hill, sighing through his nose. He felt another headache coming on-

“Tommy?” The addressed boy jumped at the sound of a timid voice from across the bunch. Oh, Tommy thought, it was that boy. The crying boy. Feeling awkward already, Tommy waved a small wave, with a small smile. 

“Hello,” Tommy said as cheerily as possible. 

The boy sat on the bench looking straight forward. Tommy glanced at him for a second as they both sat in almost suffocating silence. The boy next to him was wearing a neat suit, but his eyes had eyebags that Tommy knew a kid should never have. Tommy wondered if this was all his fault and he just didn’t know why. 

“I, uh, still don’t know your name,” Tommy said, his voice echoed in the silence. 

“Tubbo,” The boy whispered. Tommy figured that he liked that name. It was obvious this man was an emotional wreck, so Tommy didn’t really want to ask any questions. He hated unfamiliar emotions, especially from other people. To add to that, other people who were sad because he didn’t remember them in the first place. 

“So, I’m lost,” Tommy said instead of prying. “Want to help a guy like me out?”

This was not a good thing to say. Tubbo jumped up, looking so broken. “You're lost, Tommy? Do you not remember you were the one to make this place?”

“Woah, why are you yelling at me?” Tommy questioned, getting defensive. “Isn’t it obvious that I don’t?”

“Why you though, Tommy?” Now Tubbo was crying. “Why did it have to be you? I don’t know what to do without you. It was supposed to be you and I against the world! And you don’t even remember the disks or- anything!”

Tommy was so bewildered he didn’t even know what to say, or how to comfort Tubbo. So, he just stood there while this kid cried, rubbing hard as his face until he was struggling for breath. Tommy, a little concerned, lightly got up and sat him on the bench.  
“I’m sorry, really, for sure, I am,” Tommy explained. “And I don’t know how to make it better, but I don’t want you to pass out on me because I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Tubbo hiccuped before finally calming down. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” Tommy replied. “I know it might be weird, but we can try to be friends again.”

“Really?” Tubbo asked hopefully. 

“Really, Big Man.”

Tommy learned as Tubbo's face broke again that he should really not use nicknames.

Tommy watched solemnly as Tubbo sprinted away. “And here I thought I was making progress. And I am still lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter isn't my best work. I want to keep the pacing a little slower which is harder for me.
> 
> Also, I feel unwell atm and want to post something just in case I get worse. The next chapter I have planned is already so much better. 
> 
> I also wanted to thank everyone for the love in the first chapter. I love our community so much!!! You are all so nice <3\. Hope you will all still keep reading.
> 
> (Also, I am a techno apologist through and through. Free my mans he ain't do nothing.)
> 
> (Again, I know nothing about amnesia except the losing memory part, if I present it in away that is offensive let me know!)
> 
> (Follow my twitter ?? https://twitter.com/messyclowns)


	3. Progress?

“Tubbo’s L’manburgs president,” Niki revealed later. Tommy blinked in surprise. The lad didn’t even look older than him as far as he could tell. “You, before everything went crap, you were going to be the president, but circumstances changed.”

“How so?” Tommy asks. He’s sitting on the counter, his feet swinging back and forth like a child.

Niki sighed. “It’s really hard to explain.”

“Ah, I see.” Tommy didn’t see. He was pretty sure everything was going to be hard to explain. He was a completely different person to these people, and the more Tommy thought about it the more his brain hurt. 

Niki seemed to pause her baking, thinking. “Tommy, I think I should maybe take you on a tour if you're ready.” 

Tommy had been ready for the past weeks that he was stuck in bed. He wanted to see L’manburgs history, how he was intertwined in the story that got it to where it was. So, he nodded. 

“Yes!” Tommy replied, loudly. He coughed. “Uh, please.”. Niki smiled at him, and Tommy smiled back. 

Just then Fundy and Quackity came in, looking angry and shook up. Niki went over to them and Tommy heard harsh whispers. He didn’t want to seem like he was listening, so he pretended to mix the batter that Niki wanted. 

“He came today…. Tried to tell Tubbo… seems like he wants to see him…”. Quackity looked tense and mad all at the same time. That seemed like it was becoming the new normal. There was something going on behind the scenes. 

The boy could only hear chopped up sentences; it didn’t make sense, but he still listened. 

“Tubbo’s the president…I don’t understand why… because it doesn’t seem like…” Fundy looked lost like he wanted to hideaway. “He has no right to come here and act like…”

He. That was a recurring word. Tommy wondered who because they didn’t seem to want to say the name outright as it scared them. Like saying his name would summon the dreaded one. 

“So,” Niki said loudly, ending whatever secret convo they were having. “I was thinking that we should take Tommy on a tour tomorrow.”

Tommy didn’t want Quackity and Fundy to come. They were the ones that annoyed him the most about his past, always asking the questions. There were occasions where they would bring up stories and jokes, and act as Tommy knew. 

It made Tommy uncomfortable and the hole inside his soul only seemed to grow bigger. 

When Tommy went to bed that night, falling asleep was easy. Deep in the night, he heard a boom in his room. The boy barely registered the noise, lifting up his head slowly to groggily look around. Maybe it came from downstairs, the thought floated in Tommy’s mind, and his head hit the pillow and he was out. 

Tommy woke up the next morning, and almost stepped on a broken vase that Niki had given him when he was still injured. It was filled with some flowers she had picked. Tommy didn’t like flowers, but he appreciated the sentiment. 

“That’s not normal,” he mumbled to himself. He investigated how it could have maybe fell. The window was sealed shut, and the bedside table was sturdy. “Maybe I knocked it over when I was sleeping.”

That seemed like the only rational solution. So, he shrugged off the lingering suspicion and got ready for the day, before going downstairs. The first thing he all noticed was how Niki and Fundy looked shook. Niki was holding Fundy’s hands on the table in a comforting way. Fundy's face was white as a sheet-like he had seen a ghost. Quackity face was just pressed into the table, he was mumbling incoherent things into the wood as if the other two were listening.

When Tommy approached behind Quackity, he could hear, “I just wanted to live a peaceful life in the Dream SMP, but nooooooooo, Wilbur had to ruin everything. And Schlatt had to be an alcoholic. And Technoblade had to spawn the withers. And then-“ 

“Uhhhh, hello?” Tommy voices, slowly stepping into the kitchen. All two of their heads snap to him, and Quackity stays down, throwing a peace sign. It almost seems like Niki and Fundy look through him, at the other Tommy.

Tommy has gotten used to these looks he gets regularly. It mostly happens with Niki and Fundy, Quackity sometimes. Their faces light up, eyes sparkling with recognition, and their smiles mischievous. It all falls when they realize that Tommy in front of them is not him. Past Tommy. (The blonde boy was starting to refer to his past self as this.)

Niki and Fundys expression falter, and Tommy almost feels bad.

Almost. 

But today, he has a goal. And Niki promised. Tommy doesn’t like it when people don’t keep their promises. 

“What happened?” Tommy asked. “You look like you’ve all seen a ghost.”

Quackity raised a finger and wiggled it. “Now that’s… that’s ironic.”

“Is that how irony works?” Tommy was confused. Quackity shrugged, his face still on the table. “So what’s actually happened?”

Niki sighed, looking extra exhausted. “It’s hard to explain.”

Tommy sat down, ready to fight. “I can take it.”

This was going to be a hard fight. Tommy could already tell. Fundy looked like he was barely holding it together. And Niki was like the emotional police, making sure everyone had time to process emotions with avoiding things herself. Oh, that was a read, Tommy thought. 

“Tommy listen, there are just things your not going to understand-”

“Obviously-”

“-And,” Niki shot Tommy a look. “Things we are going to be learning ourselves. And that is going to take time-”

“So what you are saying is that we aren’t going to be going on a tour today,” Tommy finished. 

“Listen Tommy.” Niki got up and approached Tommy, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I know this is frustrating, but you need to pace yourself.”

“Pace myself?” Tommy repeated, deadpan. “I don’t need to pace myself, you guys are pacing me. I’m ready!”

“Tommy…”

“No,” Tommy raised his voice. “Do you understand what it’s like not knowing what’s going on, ever? Being shrouded in confusion all the time? I want to learn what happened! And if you can’t handle it yourselves, then I’ll just do it on my own.”

“We are going through this too!” Niki said sternly. “We still have our own demons to fight.”

Tommy was getting angrier. “And I do too! But I don’t know anything at all! Just because I don’t remember anything doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings too, or I am not important!”

“We never said that.”

“You don’t have to,” Tommy spat. Silence. Fundy had his head in his hands now and Niki was angry, but Tommy could see her trying to fight it. 

“You aren’t the same person! You aren’t our Tommy!” Niki shouted, and instantly looked like she regretted it. Tommy felt his face heat up, and his hands shook angrily. He stood up.

“I see how it is,” Tommy sniped. 

Tommy walked out of the house, breathing hard. He was mad. Furious. Mad that they wanted and expected a different Tommy, and would never tell the truth. Why was he even still there in that house with them? 

Why was he even in L’manburg at all?

He hated being confined, treated like he was fragile. He wasn’t fragile. He could handle the truth. 

Maybe they can’t handle the truth.

That thought caused him to stop in the middle of L’manburgs town square.

Maybe they refused to tell him the truth because they couldn’t. The truth was too hard for them to come to terms with. What really happened here? What happened to him? Tommy kicked a loose rock on the ground, fueling his frustration at the unknown. He hated this feeling. Of missing out. He groaned before sitting down on an empty bench, watching as people passed by.

Tommy recognized the shape of a boy in the corner of the square. Talking animatedly with his hands flying. That’s Tubbo, thought Tommy. At least he was good with remembering names.

Popping off the bench, he streamed towards the other young man. Tommy ignored all the stares and whispers he was getting, only sending a glare at a few. He stopped behind Tubbo and waited till he was done talking. 

When Tubbo spun around, done with the conversation he yelped when he saw Tommy. “Oh my- Tommy what are you doing?”

“Waiting till you were done talking,” Tommy said matter of factly. “I didn’t know you were the president.”

“Well,” Tubbo brushed off his suit. He almost looked a little angry at Tommy, but Tommy didn’t care. 

Tommy rolled on the balls of his feet. “Want to talk?”

“Not really,” Tubbo replied. Oh, this was going to be fun. Tommy grinned before grabbing his arm. The other watched his hand with shock on his face. Tommy was going to force him to tell him everything, right now. 

“Too bad I don’t care.” The blonde boy tugged on the brunette, dragging him to the empty bench. Tubbo opened his mouth. But Tommy put a hand up. “I’m going to say some things and you’re going to have to deal with it, ready?”

“No,” Tubbo replied quietly. The whole speech that Tommy had on his throat died. That was not what he was expecting. 

“Oh, well,” Tommy said awkwardly before looking away. He pursed his lips. He really approached this in a bad way huh? Tubbo was just a kid like him. And he was a president for goodness sake!

Tommy then remembered his and Tubbo's conversation. Friendship. Tommy inwardly nodded. Let’s start with that. “Ok, let’s try this differently. How was your day?”

There was pandering silence that stretched. Tommy dared to send a look at the other boy, who was staring at him intensely. The blonde just looked forward. 

“What are you doing?” Tubbo asked. He was crying! What was Tommy doing wrong this time? The young president looked broken.

“Asking how your day was? Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?” Tommy was being genuine. He noticed the bags under Tubbos eyes was getting dark and the young man didn’t look like he was eating properly. “You sorta look like you need a friend right now.”

Tommy didn’t mean to say that part out loud. But it was out of his mouth before he could stop it. Then, there was someone wrapping him in a hug, crying even harder. It was Tubbo, of course. Tommy awkwardly wrapped his arm in return. It was sort of nice. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tommy questioned like he didn’t know. 

“I missed you,” Tubbo whispered in his shoulder. Tommy sputtered. “I miss Old you too.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “You and everyone else.”

“You aren’t the same.”

“Wow, Sherlock Holmes, really got me there,” Tommy said sarcastically. He didn’t know how to comfort people, especially old forgotten friends. Tubbo did giggle a little at the comment, which Tommy was grateful for. 

The hug was broken. Tubbo rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry for being annoying. Just work has been super stressful with...”

Tubbo stopped, eyes widening for a split second as he looked at Tommy. “You haven’t met Dream have you?”

“Who?” Tommy questioned. Tubbo shook his head. 

“It’s not important.”

A comfortable silence flitted over the boys as Tommy replayed all the events today. Tommy thought about his next move. He did really want to learn more about his past self, but the more he got close to the truth, it seemed to take a step back. He knew this was because the people he was surrounded by were being somewhat incompetent. Tommy could hardly blame them. At least they knew why they were living in trauma. Tommy just was dealing with their trauma without even know his own. Tommy huffed and looked at Tubbo.

“Can we make a deal?” Tubbo looked up at Tommy’s voice.

“Depends.” For a boy who seemed to cry almost every time he saw Tommy, he was quite stubborn.

“I would really, really like to be your friend, but I want you to tell me the truth, all the time,” Tommy explained. “Everyone is keeping things from me and it is really really annoying.”

“I don’t know if I can do a better job than them,” Tubbo said softly. “I almost want to forget it all too.”

Tommy rubbed at his eyes. “That’s the problem isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“I oughta go, then.” Tommy stood up, he felt like he wanted to say more. He weighed his options and decided to just walk away. “I kinda yelled at Niki and them and I feel bad now.”

Tubbo watched as Tommy made his way back home. “Wait!” 

Tommy turned around. Tubbo stood there timidly, staring at the ground.“Can I… think about that deal?”

“Of course, big man!” And this time, Tubbo didn’t run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bros! I am so sorry for the late post. Life has been busy as usual.   
> Crazy how the USA is just failing, ya know.
> 
> Sorry if this chapter seems jumpy. I didn't know where to go with it and changed it many times. 
> 
> Also, I pinky pinky promise that the next chapter will have SBI. But like angsty SBI because no pain: no gain. I wanted the first few chapters to be Tubbo/ Tommy centric because the SBI stuff GOLLy is gonna be a ridddeeeee. 
> 
> Also, if the angst seems mild, that's because I'm saving it for later. :D
> 
> Again thanks for kudos and bookmarks!!!!!!!
> 
> Love you all and you all matter so much to me and other people in your life! Never forget how important you are!


	4. Stone Around His Neck

It was a good day. A sunny day. The sun was shining, birds chirping, and Tommy was having one of the best days he had in a while. He had chatted with Tubbo, cooked with Niki (well Niki did most of the cooking, Tommy watched), and then trained with Niki with a bow. It was a good day. Tommy laughed all day, his sides hurting by the time the sun was setting.

Then, Fundy ruined it. And a chain of events happened which changed Tommy’s perspective forever. From Tommy’s point of view, it may seem like Fundy ruined it, but in reality, it was bound to happen. But Tommy got used to it not happening. Not knowing anything. Staying in the dark about everything.

Then all at once, he was slammed with the alarming reality of many items. The idea that knowing everything would make everything all right was truly and alarmingly - wrong. That was Tommy’s fault.

But Tommy was never one to blame himself.

  
  


As per an odd tradition, Tommy clambered on top of the shared roof where he perched himself as the set, displaying an array of many different colors, set slowly over the horizon. The young boy breathed in the chill summer air. 

He heard someone struggling to join him on the roof and was surprised to see the fox he had been living with for the past month pop his head up. Fundy narrowed his eyes.

“How do you manage to climb up here?” Fundy asks, huffing and puffing as he pulls himself the rest of the way up.

“It’s easy, honestly. If you know how to climb correctly.” Fundy just hummed and sat by Tommy. 

“Wassup big man?” Tommy found himself asking. Tommy could see his eyes swirl with many different things he wanted to say.

Fundy shrugged. “Just, you're not the only one dealing with past demons.”

Tommy snorted. “Dealing with what exactly? Don’t really know much, big guy. Just the basics.”

“What are the basics?”

“Well, I helped found this country with you, this guy named Wilbur, and Tubbo. There was another person, but they were a traitor. Tubbo didn’t like talking about it much.”

Tommy’s words were nothing but the truth. When the blonde boy tried asking Tubbo about what happened with the traitor, his eyes got misty and a faraway entered his eyes. Tommy decided the first bit of information was enough, and they both moved on. 

Fundy looked sidelong at Tommy. “They regret it though. Eret’s a good person. They have been there for me after…” 

After what? That is the question Tommy stopped asking a long time ago. So, Tommy just let the world be enveloped into silence until the fox man suddenly straightened.   
  


“Can I tell you something, Tommy?” The look on Fundy’s face scared Tommy. It was on those faces that someone gave when they were about to give bad news. 

“I mean, I guess?” 

A pause. A beat. A long sigh, then,” This might seem weird, but I am technically your nephew.”

“Huh?” Tommy asked dumbly. Tommy felt like he might explode. Like too much was running through his brain, and the wires were getting warmer and warmer and then boom! A fire was going to break out. Tommy had honestly forgotten about the brother thing. The family thing too! He was beginning to find his family here, with Niki, Quackity and Fundy.

Fundy. Fundy was his nephew. Maybe hybrids age faster, Tommy didn’t know, but as far as he knew, none of this made sense.

None of this was going to make sense in the long run, anyway, right? 

Fundy was talking, Tommy realized. His mouth was moving, but the amnesiac boy couldn’t hear a word. His head was pounding, mouth dry and then realization dawned on him. His ears popped, and Tommy stared down Fundy.

“You didn’t tell me?!” Tommy practically shouted. “I have been living with you for the past month and you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t know how you would react!” Fundy pleaded. Tommy stood up, running his hands through his blonde hair. 

“Oh my- this can’t be- how dare you?!” Tommy was struggling to find the right words. What was he supposed to say? Tommy felt like he was back at square one all over again. And he hadn’t even taken a step out of it. He was spiraling, he could feel it. The roof seemed to be shifting under him.

Fundy jumps up and holds Tommy’s shoulders. “Ok, don’t fall, don’t fall. Niki would murder me if you fell off the roof.” 

Tommy took in deep breaths. The cold air pricked his lungs, slowly bringing him down to reality. He had so many questions. Too many! His life seemed pretty effed up if he had a nephew that was older than him and two brothers who wanted nothing to do with him, and a dad who hadn’t checked on him for a month. 

Tommy looked at Fundy straight in the eye. “Where is your dad?”   
  


The man faltered, eyes falling away. “He’s… dead. I am sorry, Tommy, but Wilbur died. He died the day you-”

Tommy didn’t know his brother, but he couldn’t help but feel a disappointed pang right above his heart at the news. He had a brother. A big brother he never was going to meet, again. In many ways, it was almost like Tommy died with him. That reality made Tommy’s heart beat faster. 

He was suddenly so exhausted. More than he had ever been. “What about my other brother and dad?” 

“I- I haven’t talked to Phil in a couple of days, but I can-”

“No!” Tommy snapped. He felt a little bad at Fundy’s broken expression. “If they don’t want to see me, then, well I don’t want to see them either.”

It wasn’t a lie. This is what Tommy truly wanted. To stay on square one, forever and ever. Become a new person- not the Tommy, these other people are new. In the back of his mind, Tommy really wanted to meet them, but how much of this could he really handle now that he was getting what he wanted? 

Tommy had a family, once. but now that thought seemed like a stone around his neck. Does he dare jump in the water of the past? 

Fundy just nodded. 

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Tommy listened to his nephew and climbed down the side of the house to the warm and toasty inside, where Niki was grinning.

“Had some good bonding time boys?” Niki questioned.

Tommy flopped onto the couch, face pressed into the cushions, and mumbled, “Something like that.” 

\-- I hate doing line breaks--

Niki knew it wasn’t her place. Not really. But when Fundy told her that Tommy knew about the whole nephew- Uncle thing, Niki drafted a letter. Why she did this, she didn’t know. Phil lived a few houses down, how hard would it be just to go over there? Niki knew she would blow up. 

Tommy was like her little brother like Tubbo was. Albeit a little more annoying. He also ate a lot of food and was messy. But it brought some controlled chaos in her life. Niki still felt the sizable hole that was left by Past Tommy. Now, Niki was doing her best in this part of Tommy’s (new) life. 

Niki knew that he needed something that Fundy, Quackity, and her could only provide half of. Fundy, gods bless him, was a little too much for Tommy. Well, Tommy was too much for him. Quackity was immature and matched Tommy too well. And Niki, Niki didn’t know where she was placed, but now that it was a blank slate- she decided she was going to be more than she was in Tommy's life. 

Was she going to regret this? Probably. Niki wrote the letter anyway. 

_ Dear Phil and Techno,  _

_ I am writing this to inform you of Tommy, your son, and brother.  _

Niki hoped that would sting. 

_ He’s doing great! And settling good into L’manburg as his new self. All his wounds have healed! His headaches are still bad sometimes, but nothing tea can’t fix.  _

_ I was wondering if you two would want to  _ ~~_ meet  _ ~~ _ see him soon. I think it would be good for him and getting his memories back.  _

_ Signed, Niki Nihachu _

This was going to be bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said SBI angst this chapter? I lied! Because I had to rewrite it because I didn't like it. I wanted a more seamless introduction to our very messed up family! YAY!
> 
> Sorry for not uploading in a while. I just finished my sport's season (we did bad!) and I had deadlines for a bunch of stuff. Overall, I was so stressed I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Good times. 
> 
> I did not check the grammar, btw. Ill edit later. I have hw to do!

**Author's Note:**

> Depending on how much Homework I get, the next chapter will be posted soonish. Hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Preface: I know nothing more about amnesia other than the losing memory part. I’m not a doctor and if I portray it in some way that offends anyone please let me know!


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